…and not giving a shit.
Lately I’ve been in kind of a rut. I feel like I’m walking over the same stretch of land and for every turn I make I wear down the ground a little more and it gets harder and harder to get out.
This has basically resulted in me not being able to find the will to care and I’m pretty much indifferent to most things and its just a mellow, middle ground all the time. The highs are few and far between and the lows are unexplained sadness. Things I cared about a couple of years ago I now just shrug away.
I know nothing will change if I don’t make the changes but I feel like I’m looking around a dark room with a tiny flashlight for the point. Because, what’s the point?
I have a caring and present family and a couple of good friends. I live a good life and I have very little to worry about. I’m so extremely privilege and have always been and it’s infuriating to not feel happy when I have so much.
This was a depressing post so I hope I’ll be back to a more upbeat topic next time.